A Christmas Story, Directed by Bob Clark
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, November 18, 1983 (US)
Screenplay: Jean Shepherd,
Leigh Brown, and
Bob Clark, based on works by Jean Shepherd
Starring: Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin, and Peter Billingsley
What I want this Christmas. What I want this Christmas is in the Sears catalog. Santa’s elves don’t have to make anything special. Santa can order what he doesn’t have from Sears. My mom calls them. She pays with a credit card on the phone and gets what she wants. Mrs. Claus has a credit card to help Santa.
Mrs. Parker (Melinda Dillon): Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas?
Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley): I want an official Red Ryder, carbine-action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Mrs. Parker: No, you’ll shoot your eye out.
The catalog has a bunch of stuff I don’t want. I don’t want socks or a refrigerator or tires. It is o.k. for Santa to give that to someone else. My dad likes tires on his car. I like Lite-Brite. Lite-Brite comes with different colored lights to make pictures in the dark. I promise to put away the pieces. I will not put the lights in my mouth because they will stick in my belly button.
Boys and girls are happy to get what they want for Christmas. They are sad when they don’t get their favorite toys. My mom and dad tell me not to cry. I do what I’m told. I am good. I did my homework. I fed the dog. The fight at the bus stop was because Jimmy started it. He said I was not going to get what I want for Christmas. I said sorry. Santa accepted my apology.
Presents come on birthdays. Santa Claus brings a big sack down the chimney on Christmas. Christmas is better. Mom says sometimes I have to wait for Christmas to get what I want. Christmas is the time to get a hundred toys. We should get what we want so we don’t cry and make Mom and Dad mad.
Mrs. Parker: Did you have a nice Christmas?
Ralphie: Yea, pretty nice.
The Old Man/Mr. Parker (Darren McGavin): Yea, did you get everything you wanted?
Ralphie: Well, almost.
The Old Man: Almost, huh? Well, that’s-that’s-that’s life. Well, there’s always next Christmas.
I did not get Micronauts last year. Santa did not leave a note why. I hid under my blanket. Nobody heard my sniffles. Micronaunts are not sold at Sears. This year I’m not asking for anything fancy. What I want for Christmas is in the Sears catalog. Pretty pretty please.